No Title

At first all I see is the sweetness. The two together, the peace and intimacy that I so wanted when I was single. The idea of the other half, different but the same. The absence of loneliness. It makes me think of two things in parallel, the time of our twenties, which longed for such a partner, and the sweet time before there were children (and before the fear that there might never be children). The light is so warm. The world seems very complete. The balance between the little conker animals on their matchstick legs and the symmetry of light, the window for one, and the light from the window on the wall for the other.  The unfocussed branch (is it eucalyptus?) at the top matches the little bit of gubbins on the surface at the bottom. It’s a peaceful image, where the static of time is inviting rather than oppressive.

But then I noticed the faces on the animals. The one by the window looks like the Roswell alien. Which is funny at first. But the other one is more skull like. Actually, it looks like Munch’s screaming head. It’s unnerving, in such an intimate image, and now I find it hard to look at anything else. The still image has become a moving one, with its own before and after, innocence and experience.

You see how neatly I am moving from you to me, from still images to moving film. Maybe because I am trying to shape this into a story. And there are so many stories that could come from this picture. I bet in one of them those little match-head feet are going to ignite. But I don’t have a story right now for these little creatures. Actually, stories are a little elusive at the moment. Maybe, between projects and tied up in endless practicalities, all I can do at the moment is look.

Can I have something else to look at?

Mortmere

How is this world for you?

Mortmere in Hackney

Hey Sue-

Strange but kind of satisfying that we didn't get round to mentioning this project when you came round on Monday. I like the idea that is exists only in itself- only here in this space, like an imaginary world. Christopher Isherwood, with whom (as you know) I am currently obsessed with, created an imaginary world called Mortmere with his friend Edward Upward. They would write stories, or parts of stories, and leave them on each other's desks to be read or completed.

So- if you still pop in here once in a while, and if you have the time (ah....time....) can you make a picture of our imaginary world? If you do, I'll write a story about it.

Tx

NO ESCAPE

I like the Dante...

I can't manage to post a video clip. We may have to get together for this... 

I wanted to put up the one of the sign outside the studio, in that beautiful and slightly home-made typeface, which says:

TO ROOF ONLY NO ESCAPE

Which I've always found so strangely touching, and which links in so well to all the lost paths. Like the lost path of being a full time artists because I am being an almost full time mother.

But that's cheating really because when I wasn't a mother I wan't exactly putting in the full days at the studio, and I sure as hell wasn't winning the Turner Prize. And anyhow, the work I've done since the children, though SLOWER, is so much better than the things I was making before that my chances at the prize, though pretty small, are probably bigger, apart, of course, from the fact that I'm getting too OLD...

Not that I actually care about prizes. I mean, I CARE, of course, but I don't really care. I care more about making work that I like. I care about getting that out somehow.  I really care that James and the kids are all right. 

I do care about whether I'm an artist or not, and thinking about that as I struggle to publish the books and deal with the lost negative issue.  Am I an artist if I keep making things and the things are good but they don't get widely seen outside of my own circle? Christopher Isherwood defines  an artist as (and I don't have the book here so I'm paraphrasing, I'll post the accurate quotation soon) someone with a disinterested desire to entertain. Now, I think I have that- I'm interested is success and audience but their consistent refusal to arrive don't stop me making more things. But then again, Isherwood could have been wrong.

Isherwood in interesting here, on this project, for two reasons. The first is his decision to make his undisguised contemplation of his own life the basis of his art. The second would be his disinterest, bordering on contempt, for children and family life.

So you're right. If we say this is art, then it is.

Maybe it's ART like this:

                  DO                            ES_I                   T_MATTE

                  R_                             I        F                          _

                S    O                          M      E                          O

                N    E                          _ THI                            N

              KS _ IT'                        S    _                             A

              R          T                      _      I                             F

            _               I                     T        _                         W

            O              R                    K          S                       ?

Or maybe not.

I agree with you about the fonts. Lets keep it how it is for the moment.

I LIKE this, even if it isn't art.

Lost

I'm thinking Dante here but I'm thinking you knew that, having read way more books than me.

Answers

1.  yes, it's really easy to add a video.  when you are writing a new post look at the icons at the top of the page.  click on the clapperboard and you can choose a clip to upload.

2.  same as above.

3.  if it doesn't work we can try and do it together

4.  I know what you mean about knowing who is who.  I did think that but now I quite like the ambiguity and that you have to read through to find out what is going on and that the text is responding to the previous text.  We can change the font - same tool bar as above.

5.  It's our work.  "the straight path is lost"
We are going there our own way.

Practically, I'm not sure how many female artists there are with children.  I think some woman make the choice not to have children as their work gives their life purpose and direction.  Alternatively, with one child, the period of intense parenting, when it really is impossible to do much else, is 5 years - just a work sabbatical really!  The good news is that it is no longer necessary/tolerated/expected for men to preen themselves and believe their work is so incredible and important - taking over the role as main carer and looking after the household is not viewed as failing.  I think the difficult part is realising we can't have everything - time, money, holidays, relationships, success, a tidy house, good food and drink......Shame though.

A Couple of Questions

Hi Susie,

I have a couple of questions about the project:

1. Can I post video?
2. Can I post sound?
3. If I can, can you teach me how...?
4. Can we write in different typefaces to show who is who? Does it matter that readers know? I think it might?
5. Exactly how is this art?

I'm guessing you are working. I have another question? Other artists, how do they find the time to work and also look after kids, cook, clean and do laundry? I get that there are many, often men, who have partners who do it all for them- or if they are single, they can let it all go to hell and who cares anyway. But what about the women artists with kids, whose partners work. They can't all afford full time help- so how do they do it?